After the big Halloween thing at church yesterday, my friend Jules and I went to Chipotle for some much needed sustenance. We had a lovely lunch and were discussing how to fix the world when this little skinny guy in a Chipotle shirt came up to us and asked if he could talk to us.
First he asked if we believe in God. I asked which one. Then I told him that I tend to follow a Pagan path and that's where us all went to hell. He told me that Pagan only means that you believe in multiple gods. First off, that is the definition of polytheism, not Paganism and I told him this. Then he told me that the reason I don't believe in his god is because I hadn't had my revelation yet.
It's very hard to explain to someone that won't listen that I have in fact had my revelation, it just wasn't the same as his. Apparently, he "lived a life of sin" (whatever that means) and he found Jesus. I asked him why I am supposed to ask forgiveness for sins that I do not believe in. Because the Bible says so.
He told us that he believes in "The Truth" not science. We were sitting by a window and I asked him if it was real; he said yes. Then I asked him if the bible said it was not real, would he believe it. He said yes. So if the bible says it, it must be completely true. Jules asked him if he could survive being swallowed by a whale; as it turns out, he thinks he could if he prayed.
He told us that we are probably going to hell because I believe a lie and Jules isn't trying to shove shit down my throat so she obviously doesn't care about Jesus either. And heaven is in the sky and from what I gathered from what he was saying, hell is the Earth's core.
The bible is not open to interpretation, everything is word for word, so I asked if I should even be allowed to talk about religion since I'm female. He said yes, because the bible is interpreted differently now.
This lovely boy made the mistake of telling us him name. When we left I told him that maybe while he was on the clock and still in uniform, he shouldn't talk shit on other peoples religious beliefs.
We called his manager and totally ratted him out, hopefully he got fired. This whole thing just made my day because he is so ignorant, that he didn't even notice the 15 times we turned his words back on him.
Screwing with the mundane is just way too much fun.