Sunday, December 6, 2009

Some Realizations

I just figured out that Will and I are going to catch a shit because of the way we want to raise our child. We have been talking a lot and so far we have some up with the fact that we do not want our child raised in the church, we aren't going to lie about Santa Clause, and that we are taking more of a natural approach to parenting.

I was raised in the church and it was NEVER a bad experiance and I don't regret t. Maybe that is becsaue my parents never forced me to go and when I strated looking at otehr religions they supported me. But as I have grow up I have seen too many things happen within a church that are just not very Christ like. I feel like the church comminuty as a whole should all teach the same message and that just doesn't happen when people are power hungry, like all people are. So my child will not grow up in a church setting. That is not to say that if he or she asks to go to church I will not happily take them, I will. Or my parents will because they are activly involved in thier church. If he or she wants to go to a Budhist temply I will take them there too. I'm all about exploration and finding what is right for you.

The issue of Santa has always bugged me. First you threaten your kid that if he or she doesn't behave they won't get girts. Then you lie to them about who has given them their gifts. Then at a certain age you break theri hearts and tell them that, in fact, Santa isn't real. I think it's just a giant mess. Your kids should not have to be bribed to behave, you should teach them right and not use imaginary characters to entice them. Your kids should be greatful to you for spending time picking out the perfect gifts and caring enough to give it to them. And then I think it's just mean to lie to a kid and then the poor kid gets heart broken. Its not very nice. So there will be no Santa or Easter Bunny.

I don't think we will take much shit, aside for people not understanding, our more natural approach to parenting. We are going to use cloth diapers and wipes, practice baby carrying and possibly even have a family bed. We most likely won't let the baby watch TV until he or she is about 3. There is no substitution for interaction.

I just wanted to write about how we intend to raise our kid and how it might be differnt than the vast majority of people.


  1. I know how hard this can be no one in my family shares my views on parenting so I just don't talk to them about it in my family it just easier not to bother, hopefully your family is more understanding.
    I kept my homebirth a secret from everyone until after my son was here =).
    I have a stepdaughgter your age and I am really amazed at all the research and time you are speding on having a clear view of your parenting style befor the babies here. You are awesome.

  2. My family is pretty supportive, but they don't understand how I want my kid to grow up. It's a little harder becaus I'm going to be living with my parents for at least a little while so they have to be in on it. My only real concern is that they won't take my wants seriously. Like the cloth diapers issue and baby carrying. My dad is really supportive but sometimes it feel like he doesn't have faith in me and that he thinks I'm going to be like everyother teen mom.

    I thought long and hard about a home birth, but I decided that if the pain does get to be too much I want to have options.

    Right after I found out I was pregnant I went from being a teenager to being a mom. I know a lot o girls my age and even older who still think the world revolves around them and I'm just not that way. That is kind of why I wanted to do this blog, so that people can see that just becuase I'm really young I can be a good mom and that not every teen mom is just a hoe that forgot to use a condom and got knocked up.

    Thank you forreading my blog, btw. I like hearing your input on what I have to say.

  3. I had my first son at 21 and people thought I was too young then so I can only imagine what it must be like for you. Being a good parent has nothing to do with age I think it's more about whether you are a selfish person or not, their are 40 yr olds who are selfish awful people and shouldn't have kids and then young women like you who are responsible unselfish great moms.

    Homebirth is definitely not for everybody but in my case I felt in my town that it was the only way I would be able to have a vbac and that was really important to me.
    Thank for sharing your blog I really enjoy reading it =).BTW I read your post in the not sure thread on PRD and it brought me to tears I was in a similar situation to that at one point in my life.

  4. It's funny how I mentioned my stepdaughter that's your age here cause now she's pregnant too, I'll definitely be reccomending your blog to her.