Sunday, November 14, 2010

Decision Making is Not One of My Strenghts

When I was 16, I made some truly terrible decisions that really hurt me and damaged me. Ever since then, I pretty much suck at decision making. I mull over whether or not I am making the right choice or if it will turn out badly. I can think about 1 decision for months without ever coming to a conclusion. This isn't really the big part of the problem.

The big problem is that eventually I get bored with thinking about making a decision and I just jump in and do whatever I want to that day. A lot of the time I realize that I am about to do something potentially stupid and back track until I am back to just thinking about it, but some times I just close my eyes and jump.

This creates a problem if other people are involved. This method of decision making got me into a less than awesome relationship, almost made me quit school a time or two, and landed me with a birth that I didn't really want.

But sometimes my method works out. I graduated a year early and did 2 years worth of work in a semester and a half. I decided overnight that I was going to graduate in 2008 and I did it.

But back to the relationship[p part of things. I don't fall in love, I jump in a fight to make it love. That really isn't a good way to choose a partner. I am struggling with this right now. I wish I could make this whole thing less vague, but I can't give details on such a public forum.

<3 Swt

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