I had a really hard day yesterday. Will and I got into it again and it just really took a toll on me. Add on to that all the relationship weirdness I'm going through right now and a baby that won't sleep. Yeah, I'm about a mess.
Last night when the baby started his crying and I couldn't calm him down all I could do was cry with him. I ended up taking him to my mom, tears in my eyes, and telling her I couldn't do it. She finally got him calmed down and he slept the rest of the night. But I hit my breaking point last night. Something has to give now.
I am still hopefully going back to Arkansas on Friday for a much needed break. Maybe getting away from here will help me clear my mind. I feel really terrible saying this, but a big part of me wishes I could leave the baby here. I am giving him all I can and it doesn't seem to be enough. No matter what I do, he cries. And my supply is really low. I'm just barely keeping up with how much he needs during the day. That in itself is a HUGE stress.
I have been trying really hard to reconnect with myself, but that seems to be getting me into trouble. I will say that my methods for doing so maybe are not the best in the world. I need to do something for myself that really is just for me. I'm not even sure what that might be.
Well, that's really about all I have to say about the world right now. Thanks for reading guys.