Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sometime You Have to Talk About the Hard Stuff

Psycho Knight and I are getting fairly serious; I'll probably be moving in with him sometime in the next few months. When you have a child with someone other than the man you are dating there are a lot of logistics to deal with. When someone wants to be with me they have to also want to be with my son, we're a package deal.

So what are these logistics I speak of? Well first off the co-sleeping thing. We are working on transitioning Peanut into his own bed because it is unfair to expect PK to go from sleeping alone to sleeping with me and a baby; and I'm assuming that it would make Will uncomfortable to know that another man is sharing a bed with his kid. The next on the logistics list is that Peanut has to have a room when we move in. That means not only am I moving in and taking over part of the house, but he loses a whole room also. These aren't all that major for PK and I to deal with, these are the easy tasks to manage.

The harder ones are not so black and white. I have no idea what role PK will play in Peanut's life. Assuming we get married, PK will be Peanut's step-dad, but what should the kid call PK? Should he be called by his first name, maybe a name alternative for dad? I just really have no idea. What about discipline? Will and I do not spank and I will not allow PK to spank my child, but to what extent will PK be an authority figure?

I know all of this depends on how quickly things progress and what happens with Will. All of this really scares me though, I'm afraid that we will totally fuck with this child's mind and he will never really understand how relationships and families work.



  1. Peanut is little, which really works in your favor. I was worried about my kids when N moved in and even more worried about how they'd get along once he started caring for them when the ex and I weren't home. Mostly, I was afraid they wouldn't mind him because he's not their dad. Luckily, my daughter's only used this line once and she actually is more likely to mind N than myself or her dad. By the time Peanut won't know the difference.

    My kids call N by his first name, which works for us.

    My best advice is to let PK settle into a "parenting" role with Peanut at his own pace. Peanut is little enough where he'll adapt easily.

    Good luck!

  2. My parents DID fuck with my mind and I may never really understand how relationships and families work, I really don't think you're going to do that to Peanut. Also, look at how I've turned out so far! Sure, I'm a little odd and relationships scare me shitless, but I'm working through those fears. Things will turn out exactly as they are supposed to.
    -The Fairy God Diva