Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My Heart Hurts, and so Does My Head

The last two days have been extremely emotionally trying and the events haven't even really been involved in my own personal life. I can't help but just want to go hide my head under a pillow and forget how much the world hurts sometimes.

Yesterday at the clinic we had a few incidents. The first one involved a mom with 4 kids; her husband had been a soldier and had some issues with PTSD. They had been fighting and then suddenly he died. He was 31. Then the entire office pretty much accidentally got involved with a custody battle. The dad had the baby and said mom was crazy and the mom said he was keeping the baby from her. The last incident yesterday wasn't terrible, just kind of sad. This mom has been married fr year and the husband has been living somewhere else for the last six months and has never even met their child. I didn't realize when I took this job how much tragedy I would see. At least once a week I hear a story that totally breaks my heart into a million pieces.

Today was a little closer to home. We had our staff meeting this morning so we got to sit through three hours of updates and news and such. Well here in the US we are probably facing a lot of national budget cuts. WIC is an optional program that has already been cut significantly. We are all terrified that more cuts are coming very soon and there is a real possibility that at least some of us won't have jobs anymore if this becomes a reality. I will put a link at the bottom of this post too write to your senator and tell him that you think WIC should not face cuts. Not only is this my job, but it is also an extremely important program. Some of the special formulas can cost $30 a can, we can provide most of the formula a family will need so they don't face further hardships from a sick baby. Moving on. There are several girls that are about 5 years younger than me that I have watched grow up. One of them is trying to figure out who she is and the other few are dealing with pushy boys. This all worries me. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I am hoping that I am open and honest enough with them that they feel like they can come to me and talk about it. I'm not as intimidating as a "grown up" but I am more grown up than most others my age and have a bit more to offer in the way of advice.

Mostly I'm just tired. There has been some inner turmoil in my head again and I am trying to decide what the correct course of action is. Therapy is starting to become a major possibility for me. I'm just not sure where to start, but unlike how I usually am, I am not scared of what is going to happen. I know that I will make the best decision for me and my family and that I will be ok, because I am strong and I have the best support ever.


is the link so that maybe some of you can advocate for WIC with us. Just type in your zip code and it will shoot you over to the right place.

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