Sunday, May 30, 2010

Who Am I Now?

I swore up and down that having a baby wouldn't change who I am; I would just be me with a baby. I think I was wrong. I am not the same person I was before I became a mother. There are a few things that make me think this.

The first is my piercings. When I went to the hospital I had 12 piercings. When I left only had 9. I took out my nipple rings so that I could breast feed and then forgot to put them back in until about a week ago when it was too late; and I lost one of my ear piercings because it started to heal over while I had it out. Before I had the baby I would have been livid to have lost these holes. I lost about $80 that I had invested in piercings, but I just really don't care now. Before my piercings were such a huge part of my identity that I would genuinely mourn one if I had to take it out. It makes me a little sad that I lost these 3, but it's whatever.

Another way is that I have stepped up at home. I used to be a bitchy teenager that didn't want to do anything and would bitch and moan about anything I was asked to do. I would fuss about the dishes, argue about laundry, and my room was a mess. Now I do dishes any night that I am home and my mom makes dinner and I do at least a load of laundry everyday. My room and the baby's room stay spotless because I have found that I can no longer stand for them to be messy.

The biggest change, though, is that I know that not everything is about me anymore. I am an only child so for most of my life I have been the most important thing. I was really selfish. Now it's all about my son. I don't care what happens to me as long as he is safe and healthy. He is my whole world now, and nothing can change that.

Those are the biggest differences that I can see in myself. I didn't make these changes on purpose, but I am really happy that they were made. I have never been closer with my parents and we are all happier now because we are all getting along. I feel like this was the exact right time for me to have this baby. He came at a time in my life that i needed something to live for; I needed to be needed. Now I have a reason to get up and go to work and school in the morning.

So to any of my readers that want to share: how did you change after having a baby?

Peace

4 comments:

  1. Let you know in a few months...

    -Josh G

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  2. For sure: I learned to live on minimal sleep.

    Honestly, I can't say it changed me all that much. It is all such a blur. Obviously priorities had to change; I had another human who depended on me completely.

    But you seem to be doing so well! Cherish every moment- they grow up in an instant!

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  3. As you know, I don't have a baby, so I can't tell you how I've changed. What I can say is how immensely proud I am of you. I love seeing the look on your face when you're holding Peanut, or the look on your mom's. She sees what I see, that you have turned out to be a fabulous mother who loves her baby so very much. I love you and will continue to be here, emotionally and spiritually if not always physically, to support you every step of the way.

    Love,
    The Fairy God Diva

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  4. Josh - I can't wait to see you guys and this baby. You're going to be great parents.

    DraftQueen - I have never live on this little sleep before, it has taken awhile to adjust lol.

    Kayla - Thank you, I love you.

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