Back in November I wrote this post about how I thought that I was probably depressed. I'm pretty sure that I was correct in that assumption. I'm still really down and it's not really getting better. In fact, it may be getting worse. I don't know.
I have no real drive to do anything, not sleeping for shit, and I mostly want to cry. It has to start getting better soon or I am going back to therapy. I hate therapy, but it is a billion times better than anti-depressants. Through talking with close friends and doing some research, I have realized some things about myself that I think would be important to look into further with a therapist.
As for this not sleeping thing; it's killing me. Friday night my good friend The Bombshell spent the night, the theory being that I was lonely and thus not sleeping well. Well that didn't help. I still didn't sleep. Then last night I spent the night with Psycho Knight and still didn't really sleep. Once I finally got to sleep I stayed that way longer, but that may have been exhaustion.
On to happier news. I finally got the job with W.I.C. as a breastfeeding peer counselor. I am so excited about this and it came just as I was about to give up. I have training on the 19th and 20th and then I start working the following Monday. Maybe this is the light at the end of the tunnel and the dark is finally lifting. I can only hope.