Sunday, February 13, 2011

Conflict Resoultion?

Apparently I hate conflict of, really, any sort. It makes me nauseous and panic-y. Psycho Knight and I are having a disagreement about some family stuff and I really just want to drive out to his house and snuggle up with him and make everything ok.

We got off the phone on a bad note, even though we still said "I love you." But now, even trying to tell him that I am dropping this whole thing, he won't answer my texts. I know this is just how he deals with conflict and I know that it is to avoid hurting me, but it breaks my heart. It's the best way to hurt me.

In my past silence meant that things were at their worst. It meant that the conversation was over and that I was in trouble and that a shitstorm was coming soon and probably a break up. Further in my past it meant that it would be continued in person possibly in a physical way. Silence scares me.

I don't know how to put this into words to him. I don't know if it would matter if I did.

This hurts even more because he is my best friend. If I were dating someone else and this happened, I would call him. I can't do that right now.

As my friend JJ says "relationships have the potential to ruin everything." Feels kind of true right now.

Swt

3 comments:

  1. I would suggest (in a calm moment not in the middle of conflict) that you raise this issue with him. Explain to him how you feel when he goes silent on you, how it scares and worries you. During times of conflict when you both have a different way of handling things perhaps he could agree to send you a text saying something along the lines of we are cool I just need a breather or time out or something along those lines.

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  2. Sorry, I know I dont know you. But I just had to comment to say "I know how you feel". Going through almost the same thing right now and the silence is what scares me the most.
    Very well written!!

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  3. Completely in agreement. Silence bites.

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